Joined: 2019-07-23
“Life gives you lots of chances to screw up which means you have just as many chances to get it right.
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Magic exists. Who can doubt it, when there are rainbows and wildflowers, the music of the wind and the silence of the stars? Anyone who has loved has been touched by magic. It is such a simple and such an extraordinary part of the lives we live.”?“I do believe in an everyday sort of magic -- the inexplicable connectedness we sometimes experience with places, people, works of art and the like; the eerie appropriateness of moments of synchronicity; the whispered voice, the hidden presence, when we think we're alone.”?When I was twelve years old, the world was my magic lantern, and by its green spirit glow I saw the past, the present and into the future. You probably did too; you just don’t recall it. See, this is my opinion: we all start out knowing magic. We are born with whirlwinds, forest fires, and comets inside us. We are born able to sing to birds and read the clouds and see our destiny in grains of sand. But then we get the magic educated right out of our souls. We get it churched out, spanked out, washed out, and combed out. We get put on the straight and narrow and told to be responsible. Told to act our age. Told to grow up, for God’s sake. And you know why we were told that? Because the people doing the telling were afraid of our wildness and youth, and because the magic we knew made them ashamed and sad of what they’d allowed to wither in themselves.?After you go so far away from it, though, you can’t really get it back. You can have seconds of it. Just seconds of knowing and remembering. When people get weepy at movies, it’s because in that dark theater the golden pool of magic is touched, just briefly. Then they come out into the hard sun of logic and reason again and it dries up, and they’re left feeling a little heartsad and not knowing why. When a song stirs a memory, when motes of dust turning in a shaft of light takes your attention from the world, when you listen to a train passing on a track at night in the distance and wonder where it might be going, you step beyond who you are and where you are. For the briefest of instants, you have stepped into the magic realm.?That’s what I believe.

The truth of life is that every year we get farther away from the essence that is born within us. We get shouldered with burdens, some of them good, some of them not so good. Things happen to us. Loved ones die. People lose their way, for one reason or another. It’s not hard to do, in this world of crazy mazes. Life itself does its best to take that memory of magic away from us. You don’t know it’s happening until one day you feel you’ve lost something but you’re not sure what it is. It’s like smiling at someone and they look at you like your crazy in a way..

These memories of who I was and where I lived are important to me. They make up a large part of who I’m going to be when my journey winds down. I need the memory of magic if I am ever going to conjure magic again. I need to know and remember, that?Magic is believing in yourself, if you can do that, you can make anything happen.”?

Love on the go

“I am convinced--truly convinced-- that 99% of living is useless. The only--and I mean the ONLY--part of life that is worth anything, is the part where we love a few people in our lives, and to what degree we are able to love them, how much we are able to give, how much of our hearts we are able to put into it. Time moves fast forward; meanwhile, we spend that time on making money, chasing dreams, building names for ourselves, achieving stuff that we want to achieve...time moves fast forward and instead of standing in moments with a few people that we love, we run fast forward with it! We forget how to love a few people given to us to love, we forget how to stay, we forget how to feel, we forget, we forget, we forget, so we can run towards death, leaving behind a house perhaps; kids perhaps; a bank account hopefully; a name worth remembering maybe. But did we love? Did you love? Did you stay? Did you love with all of your heart? Did you? Will you?”?

Time is a beautiful gift..


Time is a gift..Spend it wisely we get one life one chance make it count :)


As a young person, it's entirely natural to feel invincible. Like you'll live forever. The concept of death - even being an old person - feels so alien that you rarely consider it . Your own mortality gets brushed to one side, almost as though it doesn't apply to you.

But the truth is, none of us know how long we'll be here, we can only live one day at a time to be sure.. We can hedge our bets, but we never know if one of a number of things might happen and our time will be cut short.

It’s a strange thing to realize and accept your mortality . It’s just one of those things you ignore. The days tick by and you just expect they will keep on coming; Until the unexpected happens. I always imagined myself growing old, wrinkled and grey- and testing the myth "do red heads turn grey :)".

That’s the thing about life; It is fragile, precious and unpredictable and each day is a gift, not a given right.

I’m 45 now. I don’t want to go anywhere any time soon.. I love my life. I love my fiends the farm , I am happy with what I am blessed with... I owe that to my family... But the control is out of my hands.It's out of any our hands really..

I haven’t started this ‘note so that death is feared - I like the fact that we are mostly ignorant to it’s inevitability.. Except when I want to talk about it and it is treated like a ‘taboo’ topic that will never happen to any of us.. That’s been a bit tough. I just want people to stop worrying so much about the small, meaningless stresses in life and try to remember that we all have the same fate after it all so do what you can to make your time feel worthy and great, minus the bullshit.

I have dropped lots of my thoughts below as I have had a lot of time to ponder life these last few months. Of course it’s the middle of the night when these random things pop in my head most! Most times at 3 am when so called "normal people sleep", what fun is normal anyways, ?:)

Those times you are un happy or complaining about ridiculous things (something I have noticed so much these past few months) with everyone and not to say I don't and haven't done the same cuz I have.., just think about someone who is really facing a problem. Be grateful for your minor issue and get over it. It’s okay to acknowledge that something is annoying but try not to carry on about it and negatively effect other people’s days.Once you do that, get out there and take a freaking big breath of that fresh air deep in your lungs, look at how blue the sky is and how green the trees are; It is so beautiful. Think how lucky you are to be able to do just that - breathe. Just sit silently for 60 seconds look around you and breathe it all in..

You might have got caught in bad traffic today, or had a bad sleep because your beautiful babies kept you awake, or your hairdresser cut your hair too short. Your new fake nails might have got a chip, your boobs are too small, or you have cellulite on your arse and your belly is wobbling. And for you guys, well I can't answer that seeing I'm a girl soo...

Let all that stuff go.. I swear you will not be thinking of those things when it is your turn to go. It is all SO insignificant when you look at life as a whole. I’ve gone thru a really bad year with nothing I could do about it and all I wished for was that I could have just one more Birthday or Christmas with my family, or just one more day with my best friend,my online friends, with anything with my dogs. Just one more day..Make the days count people, time lost can never be given back.

I try to live a healthy life, in fact, probably my major passion. Appreciate your good health and functioning body- even if it isn’t your ideal size. Look after it and embrace how amazing it is. Move it and nourish it with fresh food. Don’t obsess over it.

Remember there are more aspects to good health than the physical body.. work just as hard on finding your mental, emotional and spiritual happiness too. That way you might realize just how insignificant and unimportant having this stupidly portrayed perfect social media body really is.. While on this topic, delete any account that pops up on your news feeds that gives you any sense of feeling crappy about yourself. Friend or not.. Be ruthless for your own well-being.

Be grateful for each day you don’t have pain and even the days where you are unwell with man flu, a sore back or a sprained ankle, accept it is a pain I guess but be thankful it isn’t life threatening and will go away.

Whine less, people! .. And help each other more.

Give, give, give. It is true that you gain more happiness doing things for others than doing them for yourself. I wish I did this more. Since I have been sick, I have met the most incredibly giving and kind people and been the receiver of the most thoughtful and loving words and support from my family, friends and strangers; More than I could I ever give in return. I will never forget this and will be forever grateful to all of these people, my teams of doctors and the time they invested in my life, they are like family to us..

Value other people’s time. Don’t keep them waiting because you are ad at being on time. Get ready earlier if you are one of those people and appreciate that your friends want to share their time with you, not sit by themselves, waiting on a mate. You will gain respect too! Amen sister.

Use your money on experiences.. Or at least don’t miss out on experiences because you spent all your money on material shit.

Put in the effort to do that day trip to the beach you keep putting off. Dip your feet in the water and dig your toes in the sand. Wet your face with salt water.

Get out in nature.Take a walk, smell the air, watch the earth alive around you,,

Try just enjoying and being in moments rather than capturing them through the screen of your phone. Life isn’t meant to be lived through a screen nor is it about getting the perfect photo.. enjoy the bloody moment, people! Stop trying to capture it for everyone else.

Random rhetorical question. Are those several hours you spend doing your hair and make up each day or to go out for one night really worth it? I’ve never understood this about females ????and Im a girl bahaaaaaaaa :)

Get up early sometimes and listen to the birds while you watch the beautiful colours the sun makes as it rises.

Listen to music.. really listen. Music is therapy. Old is best.

Cuddle your dog. talk to your dog, love them as much as they love you..

Travel if it’s your desire, don’t if it’s not.

Work to live, don’t live to work.

Seriously, do what makes your heart feel happy.

Eat the cake. Zero guilt.

Say no to things you really don’t want to do.

Don’t feel pressured to do what other people might think is a fulfilling life.. you might want a mediocre life and that is so okay.

Tell your loved ones you love them every time you get the chance and love them with everything you have.

Talk to your friends. Put down your phone. Are they doing okay?

Also, remember if something is making you miserable, you do have the power to change it - in work or love or whatever it may be. Have the guts to change. You don’t know how much time you’ve got on this earth so don’t waste it being miserable. I know that is said all the time but it couldn’t be more true.

Anyway, that’s just this one young gals life advice. Take it or leave it, I don’t mind!

Oh and one last thing, if you can, do a good deed for humanity (and myself) and start regularly donating blood. It will make you feel good with the added bonus of saving lives. I feel like it is something that is so overlooked considering every donation can save 3 lives! That is a massive impact each person can have and the process really is so simple.

Blood donation (more bags than I could keep up with counting) helped keep me alive for an extra year - a year I will be forever grateful that I got to spend it here on Earth with my family, friends and dog. A year I hope to have some of the greatest times of my life.

..’Til we meet again.

Hope :)





Catch me if you can




25 years ago today ,


A dying man gave me a book once. I didn’t know he was dying and he didn’t know he was giving me so much more than just a book.that day was 25 years ago today..

That man was a former college professor and he passed away from prostate cancer before I got the chance to thank him.

When I took this professor’s journalism class I didn’t expect to form a friendship with the man behind the podium?after class I went to speak with him in his office about why I had missed a few of his classes. He was open, genuine, understanding, and kind. Empathy radiated from his eyes.He asked about my course of study, which was creative writing, and this led to the discussion of poetry.It was just a one year class to fill in my schedule and a credit but it was probly the best class I had in college,,never did I think I would someday write even if it is just personal thoughts and stories , but here I am doing just that..He said he had been writing poetry his entire life but he never shared it with anyone.I told him that was a shame.

Without a word, he got up from his desk, and went to retrieve some poems he kept hidden in his office. With a?shrug of the shoulders he handed them to me.told me to read them when I had the time to spare.. and of course I began reading as soon as I got home that day..

Most of the poetry was centered around the love of his life, a woman he had loved and lost a few decades ago. He confided in me that he was trying to find her now that he was older and divorced. And that’s when he explained he was slowly dying from prostate cancer.To say that I admired this gentle soul is putting it mildly. His insistence on working while very ill was commendable by itself. The fact that he took the time to show me empathy when I was struggling and to share with me was amazing.He was someone in deep pain reaching out to comfort and bring smiles to those he met. And, luckily for me, I was one of the recipients.

I regularly visited his office after my class with him ended. Seeing him always brightened my day. It was like visiting with a favorite Grandparent. I would ask about his search for his lost love and how he was feeling and he would ask me about my plans after my upcoming graduation. No matter what was going on with his health he always asked how I was doing.

After graduation I moved to another state We emailed back and forth every now and then. He was very vague about his health but I knew it wasn’t good.I could sense he was worse each time I got mail from him,?

The happiest email he ever sent was to tell me he had found her, the long lost love of his life.She was, of all things, an oncology nurse working with pancreatic cancer patients.but that his search was over he could rest easy knowing she was happy healthy and safe after all the years of not knowing how she was, his love was undying for her yet he was dying and she had no idea.. and to me this was the saddest of all things yet..

One day, after not hearing from him for a while, I received an email asking for my address. He seemed slightly frantic and said there was something he had to send to me. I sent my information right away. A few days later the book?“Too Soon Old, Too Late Smart”?by Gordon Livingston was in my mail box..The book was beautiful. But not half as beautiful as the gesture.

I read the book right away and was incredibly moved that this former professor cared enough to express mail me a book that inspired him as he was dying. there was a time not long ago that I got that book out and I re read it again. it was like I ?needed it.. and I was right.

I sent him an email thanking him and never received a response. Silence ..

?and time with more silence..Time passed and I would send him emails every month or so and still get no reply. I knew in my heart he was gone but liked to think of him as too busy to reply. Off chasing that newly found lost love perhaps, it lessened the pain of the knowing he was gone.

I never forgot about him or the gift he gave me. I carried that book with me over the years and it survived many moves and personal tragedies where I lost nearly everything.But it gave me strength each time I needed it.

He had passed away right after he mailed me the book.

Since I never got to see him again or thank him for the gift of kindness and gesture he gave me, this is my thank you. Thank you, dear professor, for caring about a struggling lost college kid. Thank you for teaching me so much more than just a class.Thank you for teaching me ?kindness to those around me thank you for the expression of thought and words to pen and paper but most of all thank you for believing in me when I didn't believe in my self,

Lifes like a book


Sometimes the hardest lessons to learn are the ones your soul needs most. I believe you can't feel real happiness unless you've felt heartache. You can't have a sense of victory unless you know what it means to fail. You can't know what it's like to feel holy until you know what it's like to feel lost. And you can't be reborn until you feel like you have died and gone to hell a few times.Certain things in life simply have to be experienced -and never explained.I don't think anyone ever gets over some things in life; they merely get used to them.. You have to let go of what could have been, how you should have acted and what you wish you would have said differently. You have to accept that you can’t change the past experiences, opinions of others at that moment in time or outcomes from their choices or yours. Too bad sometimes life isn't written pencil so we could erase and write parts of it all over again..

The best thing about life ?even tho we can't go back and ?change history ?or re write our lives we can however re create, re write ?and re design the rest of our lives. You are the writer of your life story same as I am, Tomorrows pages in our book are blank and only we hold the pens to write ?the next chapter :) And its not about what you write its the way ?that you write it that counts ..

Where the heart is


That 4 letter word LIFE


May the space between where I am and where I wanna be Inspire me, becuz life sure is better when your smiling?n0.gif?v=122
Life a 4 letter word, sounds so simple but comes with so many complexities..It isn't just about the events going on in and around our crazy world,It's also about the battles going on inside each and every one of us, yea all of us..A battle of Heart and Mind..a battle of Words said and Words left unsaid...a battle of what we want and what the cards of life have dealt us,A battle that is sometimes fought all day every day and sometimes sneaks into our sleep into our dreams..Love , pain, happiness, betrayal, sadness, all of these emotions together give birth to this chaos we all call LIFE..like the quote says Life isn't easy but it sure is worth it..even if it's chaos, even if it's a battle, you don't just win or lose in life , you live it each and every day as if it were your last and for some it is and then there is the rest of us who get another chance at it the next day when we wake to see the sun,,,One day at time is how I live my life and I am thankful for that day, every single day that I get it and , no matter what kinda day it is, there is always, always a reason to smile?n0.gif?v=122

Own your own kinda crazy :)


This world is so full of perfectionist, people expect perfect in so many things, they want to shape you and mold you into what they want you to be and not accept?you for just the God given person that you are., I refuse to change to suit someone else because I don't want someone I have to change I want someone I can accept everything about them their flaws their good parts their bad parts ?all of them?and still love ?them the same as if they were perfect, because for me and to me that person would be perfect?, because I love and accept them as they are the same as I hope that person would do for me..but until ?that happens these are some things I like in a person and things I do everyday myself :)?I like people who begin by blurting out something overly personal because its how they are. and they don't care ?what others may think of them...?I like people who aren’t afraid to walk around with a stain on their shirt. I like people who??laugh at their own jokes. I like people who give compliments to strangers in the grocery store and make friends when they’re washing their hands in the bathroom.

I like people who get passionate about ideas and excited about others’ success stories. I like people who live a little outside of the box, who march to the beat of their own drum, and who make it a mission to help those around them.

I like people who own their failures, and apologize easily. I like people who know who they are deep down inside, and let that person shine like crazy. I like people who tell the truth. I like people who can joke often and don’t take themselves too seriously.

I like people who love life so much they don’t make room for drama or petty behavior, only more love. I like people who like people. I like people who like books, and stupid tv shows, .that cry at something sad in a movie, even if its a Disney one :)

I like people who stop by just to say hello, I like people who have their own opinions, but aren’t threatened by you having your own opinion as well.I like people who ?have never felt prejudice in anyway against another person, were all the same we were all born butt naked, we all were ?born with nothing , were gonna leave this world with nothing, well I hope I leave it with teeth :) but ?you get what I'm saying ?, we all bleed red we were all created by God, so what if I'm white and maybe you maybe are black, we are still the same in my book...

I like people who laugh at their un-washed hair and admit when they ran out the door ?and ?forgot to brush their teeth on a hurried morning....lol Ive brushed mine in the car many many times...?I like people who share all their favorite recipes, and let you try their favorite makeup before you buy it, and brag about getting their dress from the clearance rack.and trust me I like clearance shopping....

I like people who ask for help. ?Lord knows I'm a stubborn woman but ?I will sometimes ask for help... sometimes :) like people who show up. I like people who don’t feel the need to show off. I like people who don’t pick up before you come over, and people who don’t pick fights where fights don’t belong.People who are laid back easy going..

I like people who say “bring whoever you want.” I like people who build bigger tables, and greet every single person with a warm hello, as if they have been best friends for years.

I like people whose eyes get bright when they talk about their passions, and people whose voice gets louder when they sing their favorite song. I like people who build businesses and who build up everyone around them.

I like people who aren’t perfect.
I like people who aren’t cool.?
I like people who aren’t trying to keep up with everyone else.?
I like people who aren’t trying to be someone they were never made to be.

I like people who are so real it hurts and it makes other people uncomfortable.

I love all people, but man, there’s a special place in my heart for the messy ones. the misfits, the ones ?that aren't perfect the ones who are flawed, the ones that learn by making kick ass mistakes at times, the ones who love before hating, the ones who don't wanna be like everyone else . People kinda like me ?the social oddities that prefer a crowd ?3 people to a hundred, I just like people who can be themselves no matter where in the hell they are ;) and who can own their own kinda crazy ! :)

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